Gaydie Hawkins Dance
by jazzypizzaz
Summary: For the Sadie Hawkins Dance, three straight students ask three queer students to dance. Mostly platonic with some crushing. Marley/Brittany, Tina/Blaine/Sam, Jake/Unique
1. Marley the polyamorous butterfly

**I. Marley is mistaken for a polyamorous butterfly**

While leaving the classroom heading down the hall, Marley was wrapped up in her thoughts before Brittany caught up with her, bouncing and skipping happily.

"Can I talk to you for a second?"

Marley blinked in surprise and smiled shyly off to the side. "Yeah, of course."

Of course Brittany could talk to her- she was Brittany S. Pierce, popular blonde cheerleader, dating Sam Evans, hilarious schoolwide heartthrob. Sure they were all in Glee together, but that didn't mean they were friends outside of the club. Especially post-Sectionals, Marley was pretty sure everyone secretly resented her, even though no one blamed her vocally except Tina. And really Tina just seemed bitter about everything, not just Marley. But Brittany was on the team last year that won Nationals, surely she was disappointed at very least in Marley's performance for the team.

Besides, Brittany did whatever she wanted, even if it meant coloring during class instead of taking notes (or maybe she was taking notes with crayon?), so she didn't need to _ask _to talk to Marley.

"Umm...my name is Brittany," Brittany said when Marley didn't continue speaking. She smiled sunnily, tilted her head, and paused for a response.

"I know..." It wasn't just that Brittany was a Cheerio that Marley was nervous around her, because it wasn't like Marley had ever heard of her bitching out anyone like the other cheerleaders did. It was that, when the group was sitting around before Glee started or during lunch, Marley was just never quite sure how to react to what Brittany was talking about. Tina would sometimes bluntly explain that Brittany was wrong. Sam would agree with Brittany and go off on an excited tangent, speaking in voices (presumably from movies Marley hadn't seen) and ranting about conspiracy theories he had that confirmed her statement. However, most other people, like Blaine, just nodded seriously then continued on with the conversation. Marley, however, was left there quiet and feeling like she had missed something important between the words. The truth was whenever Brittany would talk in Glee or at lunch, it made Marley feel like she was one step behind.

Marley got the sense that in actuality Brittany understood way more than most people assumed, she just had no idea what that was.

So yes, sure Brittany was a second-year senior in the same math class as Marley, a sophomore, and she was barely pulling a C at that... But the fact was actually that it was _Brittany _thatoften made _Marley _feel dumb and that was intimidating.

"Okay, I just wanted to be sure since we've never actually had a conversation before. And this is exciting!" Brittany giggled almost nervously at the end of that, probably because Marley was acting so awkward.

"Anyway... I was wondering if you would like to come to the dance with me?" Brittany kept smiling sunnily, still tilting her head, and again waiting for Marley to catch on to what she was talking about.

"What?!" Marley shouted a bit too loudly, whipping her head up from where she was looking at the ground. Other people in the hallway stopped to look at them, so Marley lowered her voice. "Like as your date?"

"Sure! Unless you're already planning to ask Mercedes?"

"Uhh what? No... I mean... I thought you were going with Sam?"

"Well, we're basically the same person, so I still need a date. For prom last year Santana was my date, and the year before that everyone else's date was my date, but this year Sam and I became one under the Mayan gods, even if we're not married on this world. Honestly, sometimes even I can't tell us apart. Anyway I still need a date. I was going to sing to you, but I didn't know the rules. Is it that girls are supposed to ask guys or that only girls can ask? In either case, if Mercedes is dressed as a boy today, I think that means you can sing to her at Glee."

"What? You mean Unique? I'm not asking Unique to be my date to the dance, she's my best friend!" They had now arrived at Marley's locker, so to mask her confusion and buy time she started fumbling with the lock and shoving her books inside.

"Santana is _my _best friend, and she was my date last year, so you can still take her to the dance. If you want help asking Mercedes, you can sing with me today, I won't mind. Santana and I had to have Ms. Holliday sing with us, before she would admit that she loved me." Brittany said it all so comforting, as if Marley _was _nervous about asking Unique because she was confused about romantic feelings towards her. For a second Marley opened her mouth to thank Brittany, before remembering that wait, no, she definitely wanted to ask a boy to the dance. And not just any boy at that.

"I'm not in love with Unique, we're just friends."

"Great! Then you should be my date. We'll dance together and then we can go back to my place and have some sweet lady kisses. Also, I'm really great at interesting lady sex, so it's okay if it's your first time."

Marley, as she was trying to unearth a sweater from the back of her locker, pulled too hard in surprise and all her books scattered across the floor. "Uhh sorry Brittany, I'm not a lesbian, and I've only been kissed once. I don't even know if I want to kiss Jake. Uhh I mean kiss a boy. The boy go with to the dance."

Brittany squatted down, helping gather the various sheet music that had flown across the hall. "Hmm... I was pretty sure you were a butterfly and liked to taste the rainbow like me, since you're the only girl that wears pants in Glee." Brittany stopped, considering something. "Well, except Mercedes, but that's just when she's pretending to be a boy. She doesn't actually like wearing pants." As if that explained everything; it just confused Marley more.

"I don't... I mean... I don't want to go as your date, Brittany, sorry."

"You just look so droopy, like a droopy butterfly, I thought maybe some scissoring could cheer you up. It always cheered Santana up... You could sing to Jake and Ryder at the same time then, if you're not sure which boy to ask. They're friends now, they won't beat each other up anymore."

Brittany glanced at Marley, must noticed her confused face, and continued on after a moment, "It's okay if you don't want to do that either. Maybe asking two guys is more intimidating than just asking one... Hot damn! I should totally pass math this time with arithmetic like that. Anyway I just notice whenever you look at Jake you get a really sad look on your face. If it's quiet enough, I can actually hear you whimpering like a suckling puppy. If you're not planning to ask Mercedes, then I think you want to ask _him _to the dance but you're afraid to." Brittany put back all the papers she had collected in the locker.

Marley put her books in the locker and closed the door. She breathed a sigh of relief that Brittany was no longer calling her a butterfly or asking about her pants or calling Unique Mercedes. She could almost follow this conversation now. "We went out on a couple dates and it was really really nice. But then after I fainted at sectionals, he started acting really strange. He stopped calling me and he's acting all mysterious. I'm afraid he'll just say no."

"Can I make a suggestion then? You need to find your power, and I can help you do that." Brittany started walking down the hall. Right after Marley's confession! Maybe this was Brittany's way of telling her she was bored of listening to her problems?

"Where are you going?"

"We're going to sing a song together. And, the music usually starts when I say something like 'It's Brittany, bitch' or I do one of my magical turns."

Before she knew what was happening, Marley and Brittany were both wearing gauzy blue dresses and the music for "Tell Him" was starting up. Marley looked around in wonder and shrugged her shoulders. Maybe Brittany was confusing, but at least now she knew that she'd never make fun of Marley for not understanding what she was saying.

As the girls all danced around, twirling and fanning the skirts, Marley wondered what she would have done if she _had _wanted to ask Unique. Was it against the rules for a girl to ask another girl out for Sadie Hawkins? Was Brittany right about that? If Santana was still here, which girl would have asked the other to the dance? Were there any other gay girls at McKinley that didn't know if they were allowed to go with each other to the dance? It must be confusing to be a lesbian in Lima, with events like this, but if Brittany last year was anything like Brittany this year, she probably navigated situations like this without worrying or wondering what people would think like Marley did.

As Marley took center stage to sing her lines straight at Jake, she made a note to save at least one dance for Brittany.

[this is my first attempt at fanfiction! Please do not be afraid to throw criticism at me! I want to know if this story is terrible or decent. I won't take your views personally- either I'll consider your opinion or I'll ignore it. Also, of course please leave comments, reblog, share, and heap praise upon my awesome skillz.]


	2. Tina is the mistress of manipulation

Tina hung out by the snack table, chewing a confectionary snowball like a cow with cud. In her irritation she had taken far too big of a bite, and now she was stuck with a giant wad of paradoxically dry goo in her mouth. Well, isn't that just life. You go and bake a delicious snack, try to share it with your friends, then try to enjoy it yourself, and you end up looking like a cow.

An angry, but beautiful, cow who had set up a dance as an excuse to ask out a dumb boy who had now run off with his crush and left her with only snowballs and terrible metaphors for company.

This was just plain stupid. There was no need for her to put up with shit like this. Asian Persuasion and the Rachel-appointed New Rachel was not supposed to be left standing at the snack table alone, choking on a small cake. She scooped up some punch and tossed a large plastic cup of it back, hoping the snowballs were water-soluble.

"PFPHFW!" Tina immediately spit-taked the whole mess into the nearest trashcan. The punch burned down her throat. Goddamn Sue Sylvester for refusing to chaperone this "completely frivolous and frankly insulting" dance and goddamn Noah Puckerman for taking advantage of her absence. He couldn't just drink the gin himself, he had to ruin her self-pitying moment too.

It was gin right? He didn't spike the punch with rubbing alcohol did he? God, it burned. Tina scooped another glass to sniff and phew! just beneath the burning she could smell something floral. Probably relatively safe then. Could have been worse.

Just as she finished that embarrassing vaudeville act, Blaine rushed up to the table, looking a bit manic and slightly out of breath. Oh dear god just her luck maybe he convinced Sam to make out with him or something.

"Hey, I thought you split," She said, not managing to keep the disappointment out of her voice.

Blaine looked slightly taken aback, but her mood didn't put a damper on his energy. "No not at all. We were just dealing with some Glee stuff."

"Anything good?" Just because Tina was in a mood didn't mean she had to bring Blaine down. He came back after all, and maybe Sam did want him for something important.

"We'll see... If it all works out, we may have just saved Glee club from losing." Oh geez. He couldn't even ruin her night for selfish reasons so she could get over this dumb thing.

"Is there anything you can't do?" She sighed. God he really was too perfect, a dapper knight in shining armor.

He smiled sweetly, "I know I can't leave here without at least one slow dance with you." He held out his hand, and all her lingering irritation melted away. He led her out across the dance floor until he found a suitable spot.

How did he always know just what to do? How did he know exactly what sweet thing to say to make her feel special? He was the perfect man to complement the New, Improved Tina. Oh sure, she had truly loved Mike. He was the first one that really saw her, that had paid attention to her old passive self. The Tina that never raised her voice, that cried or was silenced the rare times she sang a solo, and that had needed a hit on the head in a fountain to realize she was worth more than all of that. In a room full of shouting divas, she had hung back letting the louder voices to run over her, but this year was her year to take what was hers and make her destiny happen.

And Blaine was her perfect take-charge counterpart: school president, superhero, lead male vocalist, Cheerio, old-school gentleman, and now saver of Glee Club. He had even said he loved her new attitude! And he hadn't stepped on her feet once, now that they were actually dancing together.

Sigh. Maybe this night wasn't so bad after all. Maybe it hadn't turned out quite like she expected, but maybe it would turn out even better.

Maybe she could get a kiss from gay Blaine Anderson yet.

With that comforting thought she leaned into his strong, steady frame, his broad hands resting perfectly in the small of her back, and his sure muscular arms circling her waist. He was even just the slightest bit taller than her, so she could rest her head on his shoulder as they swayed to the beat. She breathed in his masculine scent, basking in the pure manly aroma of-

Rasberry hairgel. Sweet fruity hair product, not too different-smelling from her own pomegranate shampoo.

Stirred out of her reverie, she opened her eyes to see Sam and Brittany dancing right beside them. Hadn't they been across the room before Blaine had...? Oh right.

She glanced furtively up at Blaine. He was swaying perfectly to the beat, almost intimately, and he was still clutching her just right, but his eyes were gazing in Sam's general direction. Well no, not really at Sam, but unfocused with a wistful look, a sad dreamy shadow across his face. Jesus his eyes were so huge and bright and beautiful... and didn't deserve to look so sad when Tina had been feeling so perfectly taken care of.

I don't really want to go to a dance where everyone's going to be romantic but me. Blaine's earlier words slapped her in the face. Everyone was romantic here tonight, dancing with a crush or loved one, even Tina. Hell, especially Tina. But not Blaine.

Blaine wanted what Tina wanted- strong arms holding him, a taller man with sure hands guiding him around the dance floor. She had put on this dance through sheer force of will and manipulated Blaine into taking her, but he wasn't happy. Her love for him was supposed to make him happy.

Damn it. This wasn't right at all.

A flash of long brown hair whipped past the periphery of her vision, bounding in a tornado of energy, disrupting Brittany and Sam. On instinct Tina panicked thinking it was Santana barging in to make fun of Sam's lips and whisk Brittany away for herself and generally making a scene and disrupting everyone...

Before realizing that no, of course not, it was Marley cutting into Sam and Brittany's dance, gesturing wildly with nerves. Nervous, pathetic Marley, who had cost them Sectionals with her selfish insecurity. Gag, she reminded Tina of what she could have become if she was content to be with Mike, wilting in Rachel's shadow. In reaction to whatever Marley had said, Brittany tilted her head back and laughed, then looked at Sam, who shrugged and smiled. Marley took Brittany's hand and twirled her away, the two of them now dancing together with far too much energy for the slow beat of Ryder singing "I Only Have Eyes For You."

The sight of the tall, brown-haired girl spinning Brittany in circles again reminded Tina of Santana. and good God, what would Santana think of this whole dance if she were here? She would have shut Tina down before they even started planning, bitching her out and ranting about her dance excluding girls who didn't want to ask a guy... Would Santana have sung in competition for Brittany, after Brittany sang to Sam? Or, no Brittany and Sam wouldn't have been together in the first place... What then if, with Sam single, Blaine had asked Sam to the dance, even just as friends?

But he wouldn't have and he didn't, and now Blaine was her perfect crushable dance partner, but she wasn't his. Sure Santana would have bitched her out if she were here, and if Brittany had wanted to ask a girl she would have either been confused about the rules or just done what she wanted regardless, but Blaine... Blaine wouldn't take that kind of chance. Not only was Kurt not here, but the closest thing to a gay guy in their class was goofy but straight Sam. Blaine would do what was expected of him- whether that be sit the dance out, or take Tina like a good friend should.

This was all wrong.

Tina snorted in frustration, and Blaine quickly pulled back and looked at her, "Is everything alright? I thought you wanted to dance? Did I-"

"No, no it's fine, it's just..." Lightbulb! This was a dilemma that Asian Persuasion could fix. "uhhh I'm really thirsty. I had drank the punch before you came, but apparently Puck had spiked it."

"Oh, I could get you a glass of water from the bathroom?" Blaine said with concern and a bit of confusion.

Tina nodded and, after a sidelong look at Sam, he scampered away obediently. She headed over to Sam, who was bopping dorkily off to the side of Brittany and Marley, who were still twirling together.

"Well hey there pretty lady, wanna dance?" Sam said, with some dorky voice. Psshh, pretty lady, Tina remembered his comment about the bunker from the student council meeting.

"No, hey, I heard you just heroically saved Glee Club, and I had a job for Blonde Chameleon..."

Sam squinted and focussed intensely on her, nodding seriously, "Shoot me."

"It's just..." Okay so first flattery to get his attention, and now sincerity to play the heartstrings, "this is Blaine's first dance without Kurt, and look," Tina gestured dramatically to all the slow dancers, "at all these romantic couples, reminding him of what he doesn't have, and it's all my fault. I planned this stupid dance, about girls asking guys, and dragged him here as my date. You heard him in the locker room, he didn't really want to go with me. What he really wishes," She paused. She couldn't betray Blaine's confidence, even if it was for his own good, "is that a boy would have asked him.

"I think..." She paused for dramatic effect and lowered her voice. Damn, she was good at this, and it felt great to be using her powers for good, "I think if he could at least dance with a boy he could feel included. It must really suck to break up, and not even have any options here in the pithole of McKinley to distract him. He such a great guy, he deserves his own white knight for at least one dance."

Sam had continued nodding seriously throughout her moving speech. When she finished, he continued nodding then gradually stopped, waiting for her to tell him what his job was. Oh shit, what if he said no? Then he raised his eyebrows in surprise, "Oh! Oh, you mean me, I should dance with him?"

"Sure, you can do an impression of a gay guy for a dance, right?"

Just then Blaine bounded up, handing her the glass of water and looking puzzled, "What about gay guys?" He looked carefully between the two of them.

"May I have this dance, good sir?" Sam bowed slightly and extended his hand to Blaine, who stared at it, then whipped around to Tina with a look of concern on his face.

Tina rolled her eyes and shook her head. No, she didn't tell Sam he had a crush, give her some credit. "It's fine, thank you for dancing with me Blaine, it was quite wonderful, but I uhh have to go warm up. I'm singing the last song and I want it to be a showstopper."

"Oh okay," he stared at her a moment to make sure, then turned back to Sam. Tina started to walk away, before stopping just far enough away to hear. She should make sure this goes well; plus, no point in doing all that hard work and not hearing Blaine's response. "Sam, was that an impression of me?"

"Well, uh I suppose it was an impression of a gentleman asking you to dance." Sam dropped his hand, shrugged his shoulders a bit self-consciously, "If you want to dance?"

Blaine's eyes grew big and wide and his face lit up, clearly touched at the offer. Sam pulled Blaine in close and wrapped his arms awkwardly around Blaine's back, rubbing his shoulders a little comfortingly. Blaine hesitantly reached out to hold Sam's arms, maybe because it seemed safest place to grip or maybe because he wanted to feel Sam's biceps. Tina figured it was probably a bit of both.

"Is this alright Sam?" Blaine's voice was just barely loud enough to hear.

Sam squeezed Blaine a bit so they were hug-dancing. "Yeah Blaine, it's cool dude, it's all good."

Tina watched them wistfully for another moment, before straightening her shoulders and strutting confidently backstage. She was a mistress of manipulation, an extraordinary performer, and a force to be reckoned with.


	3. Jake and fabulous badassery

Jake lingered on the fringes of the dance, anxiously scanning the crowd for Kitty's whereabouts. He breathed a sigh of relief at the sight of her short blonde head dragging an amused-looking Puck out through the gym doors. He continued his crowd-scanning to locate Ryder sucking face with the Cheerio with a neckbrace in a corner behind a snowball decoration, and this time breathed a sigh of irritation.

While happy for his bro who was, by the looks of it, eagerly on the way to rounding second base, he wasn't sure what he was supposed to do with himself now. It wasn't that he was necessarily jealous that both his brother and best friend were busy making out with hot chicks the way he himself would have been only too happy to six months ago. Jake was honestly committing himself to Puck's advice and his promise to Marley. He really dug the way she trusted him now, the way she blinked her bright blue eyes at him, and the way she smiled at him like he was important. Not to mention her sexy slim body, currently shaking and boogying with Brittany across the dance floor; she looked so much healthier than back at Thanksgiving, which translated into the slightest sexy curves, writhing in time with the beat...

Yeah... and that was exactly why standing at the end of the dance swaying semi-consciously to the song Tina was singing was making him anxious. Jake Puckerman was Mega Stud. He was hot shit that chicks couldn't resist- the beginning of the year proved that to him- but he wanted to be the boyfriend Marley thought he could be. Even if half those chicks actively hated him now, the other half might still be down to hook up if he flirted. However, with Puck keeping Kitty distracted and Ryder getting action, his best dudes couldn't keep him company while he was waiting for Marley to finish up her dance with Brittany. Jake couldn't just stand there like a wallflower loser, but he definitely couldn't dance with another chick and trying to chill with any of the other dudes might end in a fight. All his Glee friends were coupled up dancing with their dates.

Out of the corner of his eye he caught a glimpse of turquoise peacock feathers, and the solution hit him in a flash. Perfect!

Jake strutted over to where Unique was dancing, near where other Glee Club members were swaying with their dates. She was managing to dance like she was on stage with Tina, like the whole auditorium was watching her in awe, like everywhere else was dark and the spotlight shone only on her- even though her eyes were closed, everyone else was occupied with their dance partners, and she was dancing alone.

Shit, Jake thought, I can't even stand by myself without looking like a dork, let alone dance alone.

Wade would be safe to dance with: He was friends with Marley, probably wouldn't flirt with him, and plus Jake was very much not attracted to dudes to begin with. Even ones who were curvy, wore dresses, and pretended to be chicks. Which, come to think of it, was actually pretty badass. Jake recalled Puck schooling him in how important loyalty was to New Directions, and how Puck himself once proved both his own loyalty and badassness by coming to school in a dress. Jake wasn't sure the story really made sense, or was even true, but the point was he could respect Wade's bravery if Puck could.

He suddenly stopped short, just behind Unique. Oh shit, would people think he was gay if danced with Wade? Glancing around to see if anyone was paying attention to him, he noticed that Sam and Blaine were slow-dancing, swaying in a circle off to the side. Blaine had his eyes closed with a look of determined bliss on his face, then suddenly screwed his eyes up in pain. It seemed that Sam had stepped on Blaine's foot and was now muttering an apology to the top of Blaine's head. Sam didn't care about what other people thought, and Sam was cool. He took a few deep breaths, and thought of what Puck would do. Puck wouldn't give a shit. Puck did whatever he wanted and, contrary to what Jake expected, most of his advice seemed to be about how being a badass was mostly about not being a dick to people.

"Hey Wade," Jake tapped on Unique's shoulder, "How would you like to dance with Mega Stud himself?" He held out his hand expectantly, giving his suavest smile.

Unique started a bit, clearly taken off guard, then stopped dancing, composed herself, and looked him dead in the eye with a look of disgust. "Excuse me?"

"Uhh, do you- do you wanna dance with me? You know from Glee I've got some sweet moves, I won't step on your feet or anything." He dropped his hand, puzzled.

"Nah-uh. You can't cheat on Marley with me, womanizer. I am watching you, boy, and you best not hurt my girl. Besides you couldn't handle this amount of fabulous anyway." She did a twirl, ending with a graceful foot stomp and a finger snap. Damn those were serious high heels to be moving so gracefully in.

Jake stood there dumbstruck. It hadn't occurred to him she would say no. Who would say no to a Puckerman? She wasn't even dancing with anyone! Maybe this wasn't such a good idea... He glanced back to where Sam and Blaine were swaying. The whole time while dancing, Sam's eyes were glued watching Brittany, but otherwise even after the foot-stomping, Blaine was still clutching Sams bicep, and Sam seemed perfectly content to be swaying with him. Brittany and Marley were twirling and oh yeah Brittany dated that scary Rizzo chick last year didn't she? Now they were wriggling rather close to each other and shit that was kind of hot...

Unique cleared her throat loudly.

Right. Jake turned back to Wade, who was watching him suspiciously. "Dude, no! That's like the opposite of my intentions. Marley is safe with me, I would never hurt her, I promise. I don't want to be with other girls. And besides," he said, gesturing towards Blaine and Brittany, "it looks like this song is the Dance with Your Gay Friend song. Plus maybe you could be my black bro."

Unique widened her eyes, her face displaying her irritation. Jake rapidly tried to figure out what he had said wrong and hurriedly started babbling, "Uh no offense dude? Not that'd you'd just be my black friend! I mean, Ryder's my white friend, and Puck's my Jewish half-brother and mentor, but maybe having a black bro would help keep the rest of those dumbass bullies off my back. Also, I was watching you dance, and honestly I think you're the bravest person I know. Like the ultimate badass at this school. It just- your Marley's best friend, which must mean you're an awesome person, because she's incredible, and it would just be cool if we were friends too, and since we're in Glee Club together, and-"

Unique's eyes were still wide in shock, but her face now looked more wary than irritated. "Zip!" She interrupted, whipping her hand in front of Jake's face. "Unique would love to share her fabulous dance with you, if only to quiet your mouth. Honestly boy, think before you speak... and I... I am temporarily considering your offer of friendship." Her words started out sharp, but then her voice dropped soft and quiet for the last bit. For the first time in the conversation her biting exterior softened, and she looked almost vulnerable.

"I would be honored," Jake said, bowing slightly and started bouncing with the beat in a purposefully dorky manner, then did an impromptu ballet spin. Unique looked mildly impressed as well as significantly more relaxed, and took him up on his offer to dance together.

Off to the side, Marley caught his eye and smiled with approval, beaming in glee as Brittany sent her into a complicated twirl. God she was beautiful.

[[All misgendering of Unique is from Jake's point of view, not mine! Also, while it irritated me, she doesn't correct him to say "I am a girl, stop calling me bro or dude or Wade," because the character never says this so directly in canon. She tends to make smaller references like "I have to be me while I'm performing" or "I sit when I pee" or "I don't feel right in men's clothing". The cissexism in the story is intentional to make the characters realistic, not my own beliefs.]]


End file.
